On not posting

Hello to all, 

Posting seems to be a very accurate depiction of the free space and state of my mind. I wondered in the past few days why I hadn’t posted and realized that there was a sort of panic I had infused into living the last few days of my break. I caught it in time thankfully to post a little more before the end of break, but also to reflect on sanity.

I think one’s sanity is greatly influenced by one’s ability to let the mind breath. Meditation in other words. I dont know how it’s been for you, but meditation to me always sounded a bit dry more than beautiful. “You’ll see, you let your mind go! It’s amazing! Just focus on yourself…”

I can now see the value in such behavior after encountering it by chance, another way. I discovered meditation through drawing. Pointless, mindless drawing. Playful drawing. One may ask “when is drawing not play?” and I will assure you that when you have to draw for school, as a way to problem solve, the process of drawing can become heavier, more painful. 

I have just recently reconnected with a sketchbook, and I am loving it. Now from drawing, I find myself wanting to just stop sometimes. To let my mind run, “frolic” and such…

At the same time I have taken on reading a bit more. I am amazed by how pleasant it is of an activity. Currently, I am reading a book titled A Gift from the Sea by Anne Lindbergh. It is a beautiful piece on doing just what this post is about: separation, creating space for one’s mind to release. It is an incredible insight on the early-mid 1900s and an interesting vantage point to look at how our society has evolved. In it, she addresses the separation of the being through the many obligations (much fewer then than now) of social networking, sustaining a life as a housewife, and the reliance on modern (then) technology.

In this book I am finding many struggles I am brought to face, especially as a student studying in a “creative field” and living independently, alone, in an environment where I am brought to often prefer “work” or the illusion of work to that of healthy, balanced living.

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